T is the one who introduced his friend to me last time

His friend and I are too much different

Both of us are tired of finding topics to keep our conversation going.

Besides, I could see little shining point in his friend,

So I became more and more passive

Then both his friend and I gave up

Obviously his friend and I can not found anything in common but one thing, that neither of us is conversable.

T told me his friend thought I was always not willing to talk with him

T asked why?

I can not tell him my real opinion about his friend

In T’s eyes, both his friend and I are really introversive since he is totally an extravert, and talkative person

So I told T we were both tire of finding topics, we couldn’t found common things

T showed his understanding and he said I should found a more extraverted boy just like him

T advised I should be more talkative if I want to find a bf

Then T kept on advising how to be more extroversive and so on

I admit T is right

I can be very active before my friends

But, I am a little too quiet before strange person, only if that person has some similar background or life circle with me

Ok, I am not a good topic finder

That is a problem

T is really talkative

In fact we don’t know each other quite well

Just because we come from the same town to Shanghai for work

And, his mother knows my parents’ neighbor so we met once

And he is posing as an elder brother giving a lot of advices about how to find a bf

Ha

At least, till now, I don’t feel annoyed because something he said is really true

Ok. I have a love consultant now

T said I need practice and he could help on this by more chats with me

When T knew I live alone in my apartment, he said he would come to visit

When T knew I could not have good meals every day because of the busy job, he said he would come to show his cook skills and gave me some good meals

This seems a little more than a consultant…

I admit I am not good at saying no, and T is good at letting you say yes

So T is coming to cook a meal for me this Saturday

PS:

T broke up with his girlfriend months ago

His ex-gf and I share the same age, the same horoscope, and the same name

I cannot find an appropriate word to describe my life now

I always believe before everything settled down, there are hopes

I always believe tomorrow is bright

But hope is always on the other side of veil

Seems close, cannot reach it

The way to bright tomorrow is a little too zigzag

I cannot say I have lose my faith

I cannot say I feel so disappointed about life

I am just a little confused by the difference between reality and hopes

Put it in a more positive way

I still believe I have future

I still have passion about life

It’s good. Isn’t it?

My status:

☑Female  ☑still in 20s  ☑Single  ☑No special talent  ☑ Not that pretty ☑ No cars ☑ No money ☑will have a happy life

High heel is so sexy, lace is so sexy

Maybe high heel plus lace is typical sign of a woman

However, when I am buying shoes, the first thing I concern is the heel should not be so high

Two reasons

1st 170cm is high enough for a girl

2nd My feet can not get used to the high heel

I cannot remember who said this

A woman without high heel just like a sentence without a verb

I don’t know I should agree or disagree

But I must admit shoes without high heel always looks ugly.

Last weekend when I was shopping with my friend Teresa

I made a decision

Bought a pair of shoes with a 7cm high heel

I know my feet will suffer a lot

But it looks really gooood.

I think my feet will understand

Ps:

When we were having dinner

Teresa said:

You came all alone to this city

Life might be hard for you

I don’t have much money, I don’t have any power

But if you need any help

Tell me

Tell me

I don’t know whether I can really help

But do tell me

Feel warm and feel friendship

Thank you, Teresa

I came to realize I really need changes if I want to be happier

So

I bought some new beautiful cloths

I had my hair curled

Every day I dressed up to work

One day, when I was laughing for a joke from my SMS,

My colleague asked: are you in love?

I said no

She just smiled with some kind of pity and incomprehensible expression

What? Why?

I am only 25, not 35 or 45 ok?

Suddenly I understood why she asked this

In China, we have a saying woman dresses up for the one loves her

But why should we be pretty for others? To make others happy?

Can we just do it for ourselves?

The answer is yes

Ok

Don’t care about too much

Live what I have

Fight for what I can have

And the most important

Be happy at any time.

I really feel not good

I didnt get that new job

And I cound't see any progress with the boy introduced last time

We can not found something in common

Our conversation can not last for more then 3 minutes before the silence came out

OK

I admit, we are not on the same level

I dont know how to describe the feeling now

Like

Somebody handed over a candy to a child with silme, and said"This is yours!"

And he just took away the candy before child reached the candy

And he turned away, with the child standing there astonshingly, hands in air

I was that child

I though a new good job was coming

I though a good boyfriend might be there

It turns out to be not true.

I lose nothing

But feel not good!

A friend introduced a boy to me

He is not the kind of person I want to marry with

But he has something attracted me
That something might be the smile

In fact we dont have too much to talk cause we dont have much in common

But we both are trying to find something to talk

We went out for dinner twice.

No bad impress, but no special feelings

en...

just let it be

I admit, shopping is a good way to unleash your stress

I bought some cosmatics and a boot

Yes, cost a lot

But, feel goooood

We meet on MSN every day, but we seldom talk too much besides work

But yesterday we talked a lot, not much about work

We found something in common, at least I think so

Today, it seemed he showed some kind of hint that can we be together?

This is not the first hint

But every time the hints are so unclear that I can hardly believe its existence

The first time I saw J, I found him special, but I cant tell what's special

Besides work, we seldom talk or meet face by face

But there always a place for him in my mind, I admit I like him

But I really have no confidence to be with him, because we are really different type

I guess he may have the same feeling with me

Feeling something, but not sure this feeling is right

He may also realize we are different type, may hardly get together finally

Or maybe I am totally wrong

All this is my illusion