Today my mood has reached a low.

The after-effects from yesterday night give a hard time to me.

I was at a farewell party of a friend of mine.

It was damn shitty. People were much younger than me, they were acting like little children first time getting drunk and music was really bad.

I sat next to a guy I know for a long time.

Even if I do not want, he makes my mood going up and down.

It's difficult to describe the feelings I've for him. If generally any exist.

Yesterday we did not talk.

I just listened the conversations and the words he said and thought "What a nerd."

He behaved very childish, but he thought he was really cool, and that's making him so unerotic in a special kind of way.

Nevertheless I dreamed of him.

He kissed me and I felt pretty good, til I woke up and my feelings shaked.

Really don't know what to do, and above all, how I'll feel tomorrow.

I'm scared in a specific way. Fear of old feelings may come back and fill my head with thoughts, I don't want to think. O:

Everything seems so complicated, but maybe I'm the person, who makes it such a way.

That's why I want to share my feelings with others.

Today I will simply try to get over the day as good as possible.

And you'll be able to read in a few days, what has happened next.

Please, please, please give me an advice, what to do.

And be pleased.

Love, ashley ♥