The following is a profile I saw on a dating site. I have the profile owners permission to copy it.
She goes by the name of 'slack-knickers':


"My name is Charlene but everyone calls me Charlie,
I’m 27 years old, a single mum of 13 boys and 1 girl, but don’t let that put you off as the oldest two wont be livin with me for anuver three years - unless they get out of the young offenders for good behaviour, which ain’t gonna happen as they’re bleedin little thugs - the others who’s fathers we were lucky enough to trace spend alternate weekends away so often I’m stuck home bored with Wane, Shane, Dwayne & Jane; who are good kids despite what the local papers say (honestly they really didn’t deserve that second ASBO) an’ dun go listenin to that Mrs Jones at number 20 coz I paid her back for the bloody greenhouse out of my disability benefit…

At weekends I clean out the dog pens in the back yard, they are a feisty bunch but I always think its good to bring kids up with pets… while the kids shovel the sh!t I take the 3 German Sheppards, two Staffies and my lovely Rosie the Pit-Bull to the back of the golf club, the dogs are really good at finding golf balls which Shane sells back to the golfers at the club!
Sadly I can’t let Rosie off the choke chain and muzzle ever again since the ‘incident’ with the police inspector and the vicar. But at least the charges were dropped.

We’s recently moved to the area after our last place got burned down; it dun matter how many times you tell them kids not to smoke in bed but do they ever listen?
Which is a shame as the kids were just settling into rehab and their new schools really well, this is the third move in three years now, so we would really like to look for something more permanent as Jane is 6 months pregnant she’s already missed a lot of her GCSE work and I really wan’er to buckle down as she’s the only one who can read.

So now we’re settling down it would be nice to meet a fella who’s in tune with kids and can tune a car!
Someone that could take them ‘dogging’ and ‘skip raiding’ as with my disability I’m just not up to it anymore.
I would like to meet a man that could provide for these lovely boys, as I do feel they need a father figure in their life an’ don’ we all wish we had someone to pass us a fag after a shag!
I’ll be upfront, I’m still married… but don’t let that put you off as Danny has told me to get on with my life seeing as he’s now banged up for 25 years for armed robbery, which is very harsh considering he didn’t actually kill no-one… and that security guard was back at work within 3 months…

My friends might call be bitter, but with a few triple gins in me I’m as friendly as the next slag… and I have plenty to cuddle with my 46HH breast to snuggle up too.

If you reply please don’t expect an answer straight away as I have to wait for my mate who comes over for her 8-ball once a week to read my letters for me. She’s a real star helping me out, she’s dead cleaver as she has English GCSE.

Since my benefits were cut by the soddin fraud department I don’ have much to spend on myself after fags an’ bingo these days an’ my current ASBO makes going out slightly awkward however the electronic tag will be lifted in 3 months when my probation runs out.

To me Holloway was a positive experience and taught me a lot about myself and I was very chuffed when I received a nomination for best biatch fight of the year by my fellow inmates (a very coveted title).

However I can still party like the best of them and love a wild night in watching Jeremy Kyle (he’s such a hunk),
I can always use the kids food welfare vouchers on a bottle of scotch at my local shop… if you bring the pizza."

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For those of you unfamiliar with the UK cultural references I can tell you that:

GCSE is a 'high school' qualification.

ASBO stands for 'Anti Social Behaviour Order' . Our government is thinking of dropping the asbo system but I think they are forgetting that they are the only qualifications some of these kids will get.

HOLLOWAY is a woman's prison in north London. And would be my prison of choice should I be given the option when I face the charges of 'Committing an act of gross indecency on myself in a public place' whilst running for a bus.
My case comes up soon.
I don't want to talk about it.

DOGGING is a pastime that involves, usually, night time visits to a quiet corner of a car park where people watch/join in, sexual acts. It helps to have a car to do this.

SKIP RAIDING. In the UK a skip is a large heavy metal container, delivered and collected by specially built lorries and used for placing rubbish in. Usually contain the contents of houses that have been cleared or builders rubbish. They can be a good source of odds and ends.

jeremy kyle is, probably, the biggest and most annoying twat on British television and should be like Big Ben ie, struck many times an hour. Which is why I refuse to capitalise the detestable man's name. However, he has one of those programs where people come on and make all their relationship problems public and he (jeremy) then tells them all off and sorts everything out.
.............

This profile was genuinely posted on the plenty of fish dating site.

So, do you think 'slack-knickers' is a real person or a spoof?

Many thanks to 'slack-knickers' for giving me permission to use this profile.