My ex boyfriend once told me “don’t let anyone to know you are defeated”. So, I won’t do it. Yesterday was a strange day. I didn’t get any message or call from Erny so I didn’t call him either hehe. I went to a party that was organized for a boy that used to study with me in high school. For me it was pretty interesting that he invited me even when we hadn’t seen each other since those high school years. I decided to go with some of my friends; the boyfriend of Pek’s sister took us there.

When we arrived there weren’t much people so we left. We went to a bar but later we came back to the party to eat something for free hehehe. The party was a boring but suddenly some of my other ex classmate from high school arrived. Dammit, I hadn’t seen them in years and to be honest I didn’t need to see them. It made me kinda sad that they all are in touch but not me. I think I have forgotten about my friends..I didn’t take care of those seeds that after the years become a flowers so now as time goes by I can’t pick any flower coz I didn’t sow.

I even saw Mark, he was in love with me in high school. He walked towards me and introduced me his new girlfriend. Dammit! Even he has a girlfriend and I’m completely alone. Of course I didn’t expect he was going to be in love with me forever hmm.

So, that’s made me kinda sad. I must change my way of living. I wanna be better but I’m so apathetic toward almost all. I decided to play my cards and I’m gonna invite Oct to go out ..what can I lose? :D nothing coz there’s nothing to lose and everything to win. 

I want a boyfriend so bad. Where can I find one? Where can I go to meet new people? Where can I find new friends? Past is over. It’s time to change…. And get a new life.

Now I remember what professor Jakob said “live your life in order that when you are old like me you can sing “non, rien de rien, non je ne regrette rien” of Edith Piaf…” So, let’s live a good life without any regrets.

I'm not sad anymore and I remember other thing: "the best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you're afraid to do"... I must take risks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!