Yesterday I watched the movie “love actually”. It is an English movie with the hot British star Hugh Grant grrrr. So, there people dare to say things because of Christmas. I felt dammit I need to be clear and tell Sib I love him. I don’t know where I got the strength and I said: Love sucks.

He laughed and asked: who says that?.

Me: me.

He:- and why? Are you in love?

Me: yes, I think so and it makes me feel stupid.

He changed the topic. Suddenly I said: I will tell you something stupid …

I’m in love ……. With you.

He: hahaha how come?
Me: I don’t know maybe I’m confused. Please stop laughing.
He: I’m not laughing at you but this situation is funny. Later, he asked what did I think about sex?

Me: that is not related. (I thought dammit I’m talking about love and he only thinks about sex?).

We kept talking normally. Later, I said something like: I’m not in love… I just like you very much … you are not that lucky. He laughed.

Wow, who silly I was? Now, he knows I’m crazy…for him. As somebody said better outside than inside loooooool.

I went to bed before 10pm coz today I woke up at 4:00am to do some homework. I left playing some Buddhist chants so I was sleeping while listening music and it is supposed that would help me to relax. I woke up thinking about Sib!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, get out of my head.

As I wrote yesterday I felt a bit down this weekend I don’t know why. But yesterday afternoon after crying a little bit I started to feel better that was when I said to Sib “guess what man, I’m in love with you” :D  Dammit, I must be bipolar.

Anyway, I feel better not sad anymore.

But I made up my mind. I wont go to meet Sib. It’s better not going. I will go to Brazil with Rose. God help me!!!!

Show me a sign of where I should go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!