I talked to my mom. Face to face. She told me that maybe I should talk to Matt. There is no way anything I say can get through to him. I don't really know what I'm dong. I don't know how to feel anymore. Sure, I'm happy sometimes, but then reality strikes in and I realize I'm leaving my mother. The woman who raised me. I'm leaving the only place I've ever known. Sure, I've traveled with my dad and I've been places. I've been to many states, many places. But this town, Payson, is the town I've known all my life. This is the town I grew up in. I never thought I'd get away from this town. Sure, you can ask, then why are you leaving, but if I don't leave now, then will I leave? When will I be able to escape the pain of my past? My life just doesn't seem real. I've just been pushed over the edge, one too many times. And it feels like I'm finally falling, hitting rock bottom. I have so much stress piled on me. I just want it to go away. I want a happy life, with a happy family. I look at Abby and I see hope. Princess Abigail. I'm writing a story with her in it. She's in my room now and getting into stuff. I'm all the way over at the other end of the bed and she's peering over the other end of my bed. I love that little girl. I'm going to miss her.