Last night we had a very depressing chat on QQ. I found I don't trust him at all. We have very different habits on daily life. In my impression he is too casual and always pollute my living environment, e.g. he seldom clean his mouth after dinner and seldom wash his hands even it is very greasy. I hate dirty hands! I have told him about my dissatisfaction but he always has his own judgement. I don't know whether we can bear each other and live together in the future. Am I having too much restriction for him?

Sometimes I really doubt whether I really love him. I'm afraid that some years later I would be regretful about my choice today. I'm even afraid that he does not really love me in heart. All is out of his illusion and he might be also regret about his choice today. How sarcastic I am as regretness seems to be the biggest monster in my heart. I am not always good at making choice. Lacking sense of safety makes me so annoyed in front of him. Since I had been dumped by my first love, I had no trust on every man or love itself probably.

I know it is quite unfair for him. But I tends to let him know about how I really feels about the relationship. I am hoping that he can help me to make a choice. I am still not grown up, ain't I?